So, since my BFF N OKC Lorren is moving very freakin’ far away from me, I am in search of a new one.

Qualifications:

• Must be around my age. I guess I will be honest and tell you I will be celebrating the 8th anniversary of my 29th birthday in less than a month. (I said honest, not happy about it.)
• Must be willing to discuss all kinds of personal information including and not limited to your eating habits, personal cycle, afflictions on your sex life as you get older, and where new hair seems to be appearing on a daily basis. Again, that getting a bit older thing.
• Must be willing to deal with my minor neuroses and re-current self esteem issues.
• Must have kids who will like to play with my kids since my kids are almost always in tow. (Reia would like a friend who can sing every song to the High School Musical soundtrack!)
• Must think Hobby Lobby, Kohl’s and Target are the mothership trifecta (sp?) of shopping and you would never buy anything at Hob Lob that isn’t half priced. See next point.
• Must be okay with the fact that I am the most frugal cheapest person on the face of the earth.
• Must think Diet Coke is a sweet nectar made by the hand of God.
• Must understand Seinfeld is one of the greatest shows of all time and that The Office will be the next cult classic in the sitcom category.
• Chocolate is a food group. This point is non-negotiable.
• You will pretend to be healthy with me until it’s “that time” at which point you will ignore the mass quantities of food that pass through my lips. Better yet, you’ll eat with me.
• You agree that Chex Mix is best home made and only baked between late September and December 31.
• And lastly, you will console me as I grieve over my loss because Lorren is one of my favorite people on Earth. (Don’t worry Richelle, Theresa and Holly, Lorren has had to listen to me talk about ya’ll for the past year too!)