Practice What You Preach: A Lesson In Humility
When I became a mom, God graciously allowed me to be a stay at home mom. SAHM for short. It was a wonderful time. I enjoyed spending many days just playing with Reia (and Reese later), working on keeping a clean home, playgroups, spending time in Bible studies and making dinner menus and even dinner that consisted of more than a box of pasta and some sauce. (Which is more or less what we have regularly now.)
And I never really appreciated it. As a matter of fact, I was arrogant enough to think my decision to stay home was right. Which means unless you were a single mom with no choice, you were wrong. (Don’t throw tomatoes at me yet, I’m going somewhere with this.)
And it was easy for me frankly. After all, I didn’t really have to sacrifice much. There was no juicy couture in my closet or coach hand bags, but we never went without. God taught me how to be a frugal mommy. That was good. Unfortunately, I also became worrisome about monetary things I couldn’t control and stingy. That was bad.
My basic stance was that if you really wanted to stay home, you could make it happen. I did watch friends of mine do it on much less every day. I mean, look what I did.
Exactly, it was about me. Not Him.
Fast forward a few years. Terry and I were faced with a challenge. We knew without a doubt God was calling us to serve Him at Lifechurch.tv in Oklahoma. And we were willing to move. But the financial sacrifice is not at all what we had in mind.
Instead of saying, “God we trust you to provide what ever we need.” and move forward looking at life on Terry’s salary alone, we said, “No worries God. We got it covered.”
And I went back to work so we wouldn’t have to actually sacrifice. Ahem. We purchased a very nice home that we could not afford on his salary alone. In one fell swoop (and ladies, going back to work was MY idea) I abandoned all that I thought was right. And promptly inserted my foot in my big ole’ mouth.
It has been almost two years, and God has let me wallow in the self-pity of making that decision, beg Him to let me stay home again, love my job, miss my kids, hate my job, miss being a wife who was really there for her husband, go over and over in my head why I didn’t listen to what His Spirit was telling me, and it has come to this….confession and forgiveness.
So,
To every woman who works to help feed, clothe and house her family…
To every woman who works just because she enjoys what she does and the relationships she builds….
To every stay at home mom who actually sacrifices to be at home with her kids because she is just tickled pick to be with them…
I apologize for every self-righteous, judgmental thing that has ever crossed my mind or come out of my mouth. All moms, working at home, or working any where else, should be praying for and lifting each other up so that we can all fulfill what God has designed each of us to do. Please forgive me.
God may or may not allow me to be home in the future. And really, as far as jobs go, I cannot complain. (Ok, I do, but I shouldn’t. Working on that.) Terry and I are looking at the budget cuts that would have to be made. It will be a leap of faith I’m sure. But next time God says GO! I’m jumping. And the only place I’m looking us up.
This is so stinkin’ good, Robin. SO good.
Girl, You are preaching to the choir on this one, so I guess I need to say Amen:-)
I have always wanted to stay home, and harped about it endlessly, although we were never willing to trust God or make the necessary sacrifices, and so I continue working. Ugh. And complaining, although not as much as I have realized how God has blessed us despite our lack of faith in His provision.
I will pray that whatever direction your life goes, you will feel God’s hand guiding you in the perfect path He has for you, and will be overwhelmed with peace and contentment. While I’m praying for you, I think I’ll pray the same for me:-)
Thanks for sharing your heart- this was an awesome and encouraging post, I’m sure many mommies will relate.
I hate it when I see a typo after I hit publish. Now I have to decide whether to fix it or leave it. Eh, I’ll decide later. Just know I see it too.
Great post, Robin. Either way you work hard to do what’s best for your family.
OUCH! I really needed to read this today. THanks so much for sharing, I appreciate your open heart.
You. Rawk.
You really, really do.
I just love posts that I can relate to. I have been staying home since my oldest was 2 and a half and she is now 14, and I really haven’t had to sacrifice until last year. Boy, did we start pinching pennies (or going into debt) when the hubs took a different job. I know I need to work some to help out, but everything God tells me is to find a way to stay home and work. I’ve tried changing menus, staying out of the mall and driving less. All helps but I still fall short each month.
Praying that God helps us both find the solutions to make the best of what He’s given us.
PS Email me, I lost your email. The first book of Stephenie Meyer’s that you need to read is Twilight. It’s a silly teen love story, but so good. My mother-in-law and sister are hooked too!
Thanks for the vulnerability.
I love you. And I like you, too.
Wow, Robin! Amazing post, you really put yourself out there, and we all need to here this. Self-righteousness is never in God’s will, but I forget that EVERY SINGLE DAY! Thank you … You ROCK!!!
Robin,
I love this! Thanks for being so vulnerable and open in your post. I have missed your posts so much!!!
Thank you Robin, for the apology, really….as a work out of the home mom, I live with my own guilt AND the guilt placed on me by mothers who think I’m the devil. And I’m not. I have a beautiful, smart, loving, kind, funny, amazing daughter, and I know more about her than some (not all, but some) SAHM’s know about their own. So your admonishing us to pray for eachother, no matter what our circumstances, wishes, dreams or desires are, is right on. Thank you so much.
I also think it’s important that we “hear” this. sorry, the misspelling annoyed me.
Oh, amen sister! I’ve been on all sides of this…stay-at-home mom, part-time working mom, and full-time working mom. None of them felt easy and each required sacrifices. Our society has a long way to go in this area (and watching all Palin coverage is pointing this out to me), but it has to start with us. We need to support and encourage each other, not judge and criticize. Now if I could just figure out how to get past the envy that inevitably creeps in
Wow! This post resonated with me, too. I have had some of the same thoughts you shared, and God is calling me to humility in a myriad of different ways in my life right now. So, know that He chose to use you as well to drive a point home that He’s had in mind for me for awhile.
I stay at home full-time right now, too, as I homeschool one of our three children. Like Susie, I know God has plans for me that will keep me at home and working. I’m just waiting for Him to reveal those plans. Thanks for the reminder of where to place our focus, Robin.
Sure appreciate you!
Robin- WOW- what a great, heart felt post. I appreciate your openness. I know you and Terry will know what to do when the time is right. You are an amazing mom, wife, and teacher